Interview date: 4/17/15
When first giving the idea to Ethan of participating in my portrait series, he was super excited. He was ready to start and take photos right away.
Days passed and I didn’t hear from Ethan, I wasn’t sure if he had gotten really busy or if he had changed his mind.
A friend had told me that she spoke to Ethan and told me he started to have second thoughts and was actually getting intimated or scared (our words). Then about a full week after talking to Ethan I saw him while screen-printing with with my friend. I made sure not to mention the process, because I know it is a sensitive area subject, many people don’t want too be involved. So I kept with the small chat. Then all of a sudden he apologized and explained being nervous about the process. How at first he was all ready, then it became more real.
We set up a day and met a couple days later. I was ready to listen because I knew he had and was really thinking about what I was asking him. He took to heart the process. I respected that.
There is such a beauty talking to people, many say I am an emotional being which I am and I love it. I love having a person exposed themselves to me and I to them. I love listening and being quiet for them to speak; as if my time is a pure essence of my self that I am giving them.
Ethan reminded me of this…
I was figuring out my camera when he walked into the room. We started talking about summer plans. Without any real gateway, he started talking about himself and how he is reserved person. Not that he is different with different people, but keeps aspects of himself away from others. Then he began talking about how he wonders if he was in a new town, who would he become. Would different aspects of himself be highlighted, then the aspects that showed in Athens. He said something about keeping the same front or face on and that is the one everyone knows as Ethan. He said he works to keep that and to not it have it tainted. Eye contact was sparing… and it came as if a reassurance. He continued on saying, he doesn’t really feel exposed… that he is firm in who he is. That he is in a happy place.
He spoke of hoping for a day with “comfort”. He gave the example of our professor,how he teaches then goes home and has a comfortable house then does art in the evenings. You could see this relaxed gaze go over his face.
He spoke how his family plays games together (he himself being a game maker). I asked him if his family ever played his games he created. He said one brother helped him play test one game but he kept his games to himself… Then he continued by saying that he was really reserved on what he shared with his family. That they knew parts of him and he loved them but they didn’t really know him.
This was interesting, He was telling me that he kept aspects of himself only to himself and shared only select parts to people. And if the possibility came when moving he may share different parts of himself and keep what he showed in Athens to himself. This idea interested me because it was similar to another interviewee said to me. This idea of being reserved was really important to Ethan.
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